Just One More Shot of Vodka

Today I was in the mood for some coffee and since it’s like 2 bucks for a fresh brew at Starbucks I went with my alternative…McDonalds! It’s only 93 cents for a small coffee, get serious!!!

On my way to McDonalds I passed a homeless man sitting on the sidewalk. I felt inclined to speak with him but I chickened out. Besides, I had my Bible in hand and was on my way to spend time with Jesus. (Please note the parallel to the Samaritan)

Sitting at McDonalds I couldn’t get the man out of my mind. My time with Jesus was lame and I didn’t really connect with God, I just read. An hour or so later I couldn’t stand it anymore and headed back towards the street corner where the man had been sitting.

As I walked, fear began to elevate inside me. What would I say? Why would he talk to me? I would probably just bother him!! As I approached I noticed the man was still there. So…what did I do? I sat on the other side of him for nearly 15 minutes trying to debate if I should say anything or not.

I honestly don’t know how I mustered the courage to speak with him. I also don’t know why I was scared. I have talked to many homeless men and women before. I just spent Monday night talking with many of them. Why the hesitation? I don’t know the answer to this question, but we all have this feeling of uncertainty and doubt when it comes to speaking with or being around people, social groups, and cultures we’re not familiar with. I don’t think it’s bad to feel this way. It’s actually quiet natural.

Yet, I do have one qualm that bothers me greatly; when I allow those barriers to affect my desire to love others. It pisses me off when I think about what I did when I first passed this guy!!

St. Francis of Assisi said this, “It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.” How true that is.

Back to the homeless man.

His name is Michael, and to shame my fear of speaking with him, he welcomed me with great kindness to sit. As we began talking I found out that Michael was a teacher in Chicago for many years, but somehow lost his job and ended up on the street. He proceeded to tell me that he taught history and english. Trying to be funny, I told him I have been to college and I still didn’t know where commas should go, but he seemed to drift off as I spoke.

Then about a minute later, or what seemed like a minute, I asked him what he did on the streets. ‘I drink,” he said. Really!! What do you drink? Vodka!! I told him that I enjoyed a beer now and then and had never had vodka. He then said he was waiting for his next drink and then, the moment he had finished talking, Dave the delivery man showed up. Dave was on his way to get Michael his daily shot of vodka. We did, however, make small talk about how beautiful the day was before he left.

I sat with Michael a few more minutes and asked him if he was hungry, but he said he was just thirsty. Shortly after, we said our goodbyes and decided that we would get something to eat together sometime when he was hungry. I told him I knew where to find him since he informed me he lived on the corner of Lawrence and Western Ave usually.

I tell you this story for two reasons. One, I want family and close friends to hear my experiences. If you think that I am gloating over things that I have done then I say you’re a fool (in a loving way of coarse).

My move to Chicago wasn’t something I choose because I wanted to be a “good” Christian. That’s B.S. (that means bull shit). I am realizing how much of a self-seeking, selfish, and sinful person I really am each day. If I shared with you, you would probably feel better about yourself, so we’ll leave it at that.

Secondly, I want you (whoever reads this thing) to be challenge through my challenges. We’re in this thing together. I beg you to try and break down your walls and open your eyes to the people around you. You don’t have to be in Chicago to meet needs, they’re everywhere. In fact I would argue that I kind of coped out and came here because it’s easier to meet needs here than other places.

With that said, let’s both, you and I,” do small things with great love,” as Mother Teresa said. It’s our love for each other and others that will draw them. Nothing else wins!!!