The last few days I’ve thought about how I would articulate what I experienced this past Friday. I’ve concluded I’m not going to really talk about, on here anyway. What I saw and heard is to explicit to talk about, and, I probably will only talk about it to close friends, yet with that said, there is going to be opportunities to do this with me again. If you are interested let me know. If you want to know about it, call me. 916-549-5678.
I was planning on writing a lot today reviewing the past few weeks. However, I decided to spend the morning hanging out. I rode my bike to the beach and tried to quiet myself as I looked at the busy city life moving at light speed.
There I sat.
What are we working so hard for?
I question that often.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Monday, March 19, 2007
I Sleep During Church
As you can see, I keep going through these little spurts of busyness. The first thing to go, well it’s my blog for sure. I hate it that it’s this way, but sitting down and writing can become extremely hard for some reason. It’s 2:30am right now and I have to be at work at 5am. This is literally the only time I’ve found recently to write.
However, as I say that, a lot of the time it’s not even about the time so much, it’s simply that I don’t know how to describe the things I experience on a daily basis. My environmental extremes are astounding. I go from power driven executives getting their non-fat latte (just the way they like it) in the morning, to neglected children who’ve bought into the stereotypes we claim aren’t there anymore. It can be extremely draining.
The six months I’ve been here have been a wild ride; yet, I get this feeling that I’m barely seeing the tip of an iceberg.
Currently there are 20 college students sleeping downstairs. Their here to experience the city, to experience these kids, to experience urban ministry (if I must define what I do). It’s encouraging to see these students come in with passion and zeal to know God more today than yesterday. I forget about that sometimes.
Maybe it’s just late, or early, and I don’t know why I tell you this, but, I’ve found myself extremely irritable lately. I can’t determine what the cause of it is. Everything seems normal. Of coarse I am completely frustrated with Christianity, how I/we live our lives here as Americans, you know – the normal. There’s something just driving me crazy though. What is it?
Maybe the next few days will reveal more. I’m on my way to visit friends at IWU and Taylor Thursday. It’s been to long since I’ve seen them.
When I come back Friday night I’m going to this ministry that works with gay male prostitutes. I mean, I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to expect from this!! I do know that Friday night will be spent in gay bars till 2:00am striking up conversations with some of these people who are loved so dearly by their creator.
Actually, any of you who want to come Friday are more than welcome to join me. I have a place for you to stay; I’ll even pay for your gas and meals. Why?? I want us, you and I, to be changed. Not that this will be an answer or even will change you, but please, hear me out…I’m tired of seeing people caught in a boring and dead faith.
I sat in a church service today on the northside of the city just like that, boring, dead. It killed me to sit there. I wanted to stand up and scream; I don’t know what but at least everyone would have woken up!!! Am I being critical? Oh yes!! But, I’m not being judgmental. I believe those people truly love God; unfortunately they forgot Jesus came to give maximum life here.
Speaking of maximum life, it is usually what you hear as a possible result for a felony. And now speaking of felonies every single person I sit with at church has had one. Yes, somehow I’ve ended up sitting with the guy who live at the halfway house my church runs. Now this is the gospel to me, hope restored to the hopeless. It’s a simple gospel, we’ve just put it in a formula, made it complicated, and if the number doesn’t come out right, well you know how we react.
While it’s on my chest, let me be out of line. I don’t write these things to glorify what I do, or what I think. I think what I think and I do what I do. If it makes you feel uncomfortable…good…you probably need it.
However, if you just read this blog and think, “Oh, maybe I should like…I don’t know, love people more,” and then you’re an asshole to people the rest of the day, week, whatever, then stop reading this and go be one.
I’m sorry, I love people…I truly do, I’m not a hypocrite, but I’m just frustrated.
Will I see you Friday night? I honestly doubt it. Not trying to be condemning, but I certainly don’t apologize for saying that. I just know how it works. Most likely a year ago I wouldn’t have come myself. But don’t say you haven’t had an opportunity to see God in new ways or that he feels so distant. I found that to be an uncommon feeling in life the past several months.
Maybe I’ll regret a lot of what I said in this entry, but consider it a kick in the butt. I need it too. Look, now I’m accountable even more to live out my faith. It’s a two-way street!!!
I’m putting up these pictures of Haley. They are my favorite so far. Miss her tons!! Before I go however, I issue a challenge to you all. Are you comfortable? If you are, STOP being so…
However, as I say that, a lot of the time it’s not even about the time so much, it’s simply that I don’t know how to describe the things I experience on a daily basis. My environmental extremes are astounding. I go from power driven executives getting their non-fat latte (just the way they like it) in the morning, to neglected children who’ve bought into the stereotypes we claim aren’t there anymore. It can be extremely draining.
The six months I’ve been here have been a wild ride; yet, I get this feeling that I’m barely seeing the tip of an iceberg.
Currently there are 20 college students sleeping downstairs. Their here to experience the city, to experience these kids, to experience urban ministry (if I must define what I do). It’s encouraging to see these students come in with passion and zeal to know God more today than yesterday. I forget about that sometimes.
Maybe it’s just late, or early, and I don’t know why I tell you this, but, I’ve found myself extremely irritable lately. I can’t determine what the cause of it is. Everything seems normal. Of coarse I am completely frustrated with Christianity, how I/we live our lives here as Americans, you know – the normal. There’s something just driving me crazy though. What is it?
Maybe the next few days will reveal more. I’m on my way to visit friends at IWU and Taylor Thursday. It’s been to long since I’ve seen them.
When I come back Friday night I’m going to this ministry that works with gay male prostitutes. I mean, I’ll be honest, I don’t know what to expect from this!! I do know that Friday night will be spent in gay bars till 2:00am striking up conversations with some of these people who are loved so dearly by their creator.
Actually, any of you who want to come Friday are more than welcome to join me. I have a place for you to stay; I’ll even pay for your gas and meals. Why?? I want us, you and I, to be changed. Not that this will be an answer or even will change you, but please, hear me out…I’m tired of seeing people caught in a boring and dead faith.
I sat in a church service today on the northside of the city just like that, boring, dead. It killed me to sit there. I wanted to stand up and scream; I don’t know what but at least everyone would have woken up!!! Am I being critical? Oh yes!! But, I’m not being judgmental. I believe those people truly love God; unfortunately they forgot Jesus came to give maximum life here.
Speaking of maximum life, it is usually what you hear as a possible result for a felony. And now speaking of felonies every single person I sit with at church has had one. Yes, somehow I’ve ended up sitting with the guy who live at the halfway house my church runs. Now this is the gospel to me, hope restored to the hopeless. It’s a simple gospel, we’ve just put it in a formula, made it complicated, and if the number doesn’t come out right, well you know how we react.
While it’s on my chest, let me be out of line. I don’t write these things to glorify what I do, or what I think. I think what I think and I do what I do. If it makes you feel uncomfortable…good…you probably need it.
However, if you just read this blog and think, “Oh, maybe I should like…I don’t know, love people more,” and then you’re an asshole to people the rest of the day, week, whatever, then stop reading this and go be one.
I’m sorry, I love people…I truly do, I’m not a hypocrite, but I’m just frustrated.
Will I see you Friday night? I honestly doubt it. Not trying to be condemning, but I certainly don’t apologize for saying that. I just know how it works. Most likely a year ago I wouldn’t have come myself. But don’t say you haven’t had an opportunity to see God in new ways or that he feels so distant. I found that to be an uncommon feeling in life the past several months.
Maybe I’ll regret a lot of what I said in this entry, but consider it a kick in the butt. I need it too. Look, now I’m accountable even more to live out my faith. It’s a two-way street!!!
I’m putting up these pictures of Haley. They are my favorite so far. Miss her tons!! Before I go however, I issue a challenge to you all. Are you comfortable? If you are, STOP being so…
Friday, March 02, 2007
I Ate Jesus
This past Sunday, INTRSCT was invited to Chicago First Nazerene Church in Lemont, IL. Along with our staff, we brought two girls from our Austin Hope & Light Ministry, Kimyatte and Ariel. Besides the fact that it was really encouraging that an entire church congregation believes in us and pays for the ministry, it was extremely humorous. When we first walked into the church Kimyatte yelled, “This church is raw!!” (meaning cool) as we were greeted with several plasma televisions.
As she looked around she asked me where all her people where? I said we’re right here, but I knew what she meant. They were the only two black people in the church.
The service began and we showed the video that I’ve posted on this blog, and our site director, Zach, gave an update about the ministry this congregation supports.
The service carried on as I sat next to Ariel who insisted on playing with my phone so she didn’t fall asleep. The service was good, normal, we sang, we listened, we sang again. Then, the pastor closed the service with communion. No big deal right?
If you could have only seen the confusion in the eyes of Ariel and Kimyatte, “we’re gonna eat?” We’ll not exactly guys!! First they passed around the crackers, I mean bread right? Ariel was confused why she was holding a cracker, but we told her to listen and we would explain later. “This is Jesus?” she said. “We’ll explain later Ariel,” as we tried not to be so loud as we sat in the front of the church. Then they passed around the grape juice and I couldn’t help but laugh when Ariel got excited and said, “oh man is that wine up in this cup?” “No Ariel, it’s grape juice,” I said as disappointment and confusion remained on her face.
We had communion, the service ended, and then it was time to eat. The pastor took us to this bling bling (very expensive) restaurant. We ate like kings.
Ariel and Kimyatte said on the way home it was one of the best days they can remember. It was for me too. It was interesting to see two cultures collide like that. I think better than interesting it was encouraging.
I heard a pastor say, some time ago, “Sunday mornings are the most segregated time of the week.” When I first heard this I thought it was ridiculous. As I thought about it more, gave time to process the statement, and now have witnessed unbelievable segregation in the church, this statement is unfortunately become a reality I believe.
It doesn’t have to be this way though. I would say 90%-95% of my church is black. I feel comfortable there. I feel like a person there, I don’t feel like a white guy attending a black church. In fact, I’m becoming close friends with a 60-year-old black man named Jerry there. We’ve been hanging out often and talk on the phone several times a week.
I guess my point is, I like to see cultures, races, ethnicities, and stereotypes collide. Or, another way to say it is, I like people living in tension with their beliefs and set ways. When it comes down to it, we’re people, loved by God and really, that’s all that matters. I don’t think we live that way, but that’s a perspective I try to maintain.
On a side note: Yesterday I made the commitment official to stay with INTRSCT till summer of ’08. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes me. Keep watching, God only knows what will happen.
As she looked around she asked me where all her people where? I said we’re right here, but I knew what she meant. They were the only two black people in the church.
The service began and we showed the video that I’ve posted on this blog, and our site director, Zach, gave an update about the ministry this congregation supports.
The service carried on as I sat next to Ariel who insisted on playing with my phone so she didn’t fall asleep. The service was good, normal, we sang, we listened, we sang again. Then, the pastor closed the service with communion. No big deal right?
If you could have only seen the confusion in the eyes of Ariel and Kimyatte, “we’re gonna eat?” We’ll not exactly guys!! First they passed around the crackers, I mean bread right? Ariel was confused why she was holding a cracker, but we told her to listen and we would explain later. “This is Jesus?” she said. “We’ll explain later Ariel,” as we tried not to be so loud as we sat in the front of the church. Then they passed around the grape juice and I couldn’t help but laugh when Ariel got excited and said, “oh man is that wine up in this cup?” “No Ariel, it’s grape juice,” I said as disappointment and confusion remained on her face.
We had communion, the service ended, and then it was time to eat. The pastor took us to this bling bling (very expensive) restaurant. We ate like kings.
Ariel and Kimyatte said on the way home it was one of the best days they can remember. It was for me too. It was interesting to see two cultures collide like that. I think better than interesting it was encouraging.
I heard a pastor say, some time ago, “Sunday mornings are the most segregated time of the week.” When I first heard this I thought it was ridiculous. As I thought about it more, gave time to process the statement, and now have witnessed unbelievable segregation in the church, this statement is unfortunately become a reality I believe.
It doesn’t have to be this way though. I would say 90%-95% of my church is black. I feel comfortable there. I feel like a person there, I don’t feel like a white guy attending a black church. In fact, I’m becoming close friends with a 60-year-old black man named Jerry there. We’ve been hanging out often and talk on the phone several times a week.
I guess my point is, I like to see cultures, races, ethnicities, and stereotypes collide. Or, another way to say it is, I like people living in tension with their beliefs and set ways. When it comes down to it, we’re people, loved by God and really, that’s all that matters. I don’t think we live that way, but that’s a perspective I try to maintain.
On a side note: Yesterday I made the commitment official to stay with INTRSCT till summer of ’08. It will be interesting to see where this journey takes me. Keep watching, God only knows what will happen.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Utterly Disturbing
I’m not sure to what extend the documentary is exaggerated, to what extent the kids are taught about the issues at hand, yet I am sadden, mad, disturbed, afraid, and ashamed. I’m talking about the documentary Jesus Camp. Months ago it was a hot news item, now the video is out, I’ve had a chance to view it, and as far as I understand who God is and what his son Jesus is about…this is far off. Watch it, question yourself, question the Bible, question how we, as followers of Christ, are seen with our terminologies and church lingo. Go to Camp!!!
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