“I don’t want to become the very thing I despise”
This morning I had coffee with my buddy Jordan. We caught up on life and had some interesting topics of conversation, one of those being women. Women are the most complicated things on the planet; maybe that’s why guys fall in love with them. That’s a whole different post that I will never write.
Ok, getting on with it. I have some important things to say so listen up, or would it be read up?
This is not a knock on the person that said this, but one of ya’ll made the statement to me that I am doing “Real” ministry. I could call it what it is, but I am trying to clean up my language on this blog (It’s for you Derry).
So ministry huh? What is it? Why is mine real and yours isn’t. Matthew 9:12 Jesus says, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.” This leads me to my next question, who’s sick?
Well, we all are!! I’m sick! You’re sick! They’re sick!! We’re sick!!
Thankfully we have a Creator who cares!!
I believe the church is the hope of the world, however, I don’t believe that the world sees hope coming from the church.
The thing I just can’t comprehend is that Jesus believes in us. He trust us to be his hands, his feet, and most importantly, to have his heart. Is that where we are? I sure don’t feel that way.
I said earlier that I don’t want to become the very thing that I despise. What do I despise? Two things, first I despise the heartlessness of myself and many other Christians.
I never want to sound condemning, but more so sound compelling. When I write, well, I simply let my heart speak. This is truly what I think the world needs, people that live out their heart and are not held back by their head
There is something to be said about God giving us a brain. Obviously, we’re supposed to use it. I just think that we use it too much and for the wrong reasons. I am certain we all have “good intentions.” I lived on good intentions most of my life. I always “intend” to wake up and spend time with Jesus, I don’t do it all the time though. I even “intend” to tithe, but sometimes I am selfish with things that aren’t mine to begin with
I always know the things I should do, but more often than not, I am either to scared to act or I justify God’s leading with some excuse why I can’t or won’t. Sound familiar in your life? It’s my reality.
Secondly, I despise how we put ministry (I hate that word) in a box. Here’s what I mean:
I’m here in Chicago living my passion, not so much my dream. I dreamed of big house, big job, big car, big family, and big ministry. That’s what I thought I wanted. My head told me those would be good things and it wouldn’t be bad to obtain them(I’m not saying it is either), but my heart…my heart was different. My heart was set on the poor, lost, brokenhearted, lonely, and inner city kids. My near fatal flaw was that I tried to combine both head and heart. I felt like I was serving two masters in a sense. Basically I wanted my cake and wanted to eat it too. Me, me, me!!
It’s ok now though, I am doing real ministry? (if you haven’t noted the sarcasm yet, I think we need to talk!) Not really, I’m just living out my heart. Ironically, as each day passes by, my heart and my head are becoming one, finally. My heart fuels my dreams and desires. David writes that God will give you the desires of your heart. I’ve never understood that verse, but it’s making more sense to me. Thank goodness God loves us so much to never give up on us!!
Be careful though. I know its great and cool to read some of my stories. Yet, as I discovered by talking with Jordan this morning, my heart may be set towards the poor, but it cannot forget the rich (I mean rich as in having most of their physical needs met. Even if you can’t pay your bills you’re richer than most in our world). If I do, well then I am becoming the very things that I oppose. I would just be neglecting the exact opposite.
The rich business men that I see walking in and out of bars each night need Jesus just as much as Michael does. The only thing is it’s easier to meet Michael’s needs than the business mans. Both are people, both are lost, both need a savior.
Real ministry?…real ministry is this. Carrying out the heart of Christ. Jesus changes everything. He brings hope to the hopeless, company to the lonely (careful, he might use you to do so), and joy to the joyless.
Check this…The first time I visited Chicago I meet a couple Rudy and Diana. They have been homeless for 25 years. The guys I live with decided they would commit to helping them in whatever ways they could. That was over two months ago and by God’s grace and help, Rudy came to pick up some things from our house this morning, he and Diana are moving into an apartment today. Their lives are changed.
Let me tell you about Joe. Joe comes to Breaking Bread every Monday night; however, Joe won’t be coming anymore, well not out of need at least. Joe has been homeless for a long time until someone reached out. Now Joe has a home and a job. It’s amazing how a little act of love can change one person’s life: possibly forever.
Lives are being changed because people are following the heart of Christ. Jesus, Friend of Sinners. That’s my favorite name for Jesus. He was friends with them, loved them, gave them hope and acceptance, now peoples lives are not the same.
Are we up to it church? Let's put hope back into the church. Let’s love with reckless abandonment. I’m not saying you’ll never feel burned, but its worth the risk of possibly changing someone life.
I believe in us because he believes in us!!
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3 comments:
First, good job, a cuss free post.
Second, as your heart and your head continue to connect, may you still be restless in both. Not so much in a discontent way that I saw in the past.
But as your contentment increases, I hope you discomfort increases as well.
Hope you know what I mean. If you don't, hope you can feel what I mean in the months to come!
Hey, Teddy!
I just finished reading your entire "library" of blogs. I am really happy for you. Why? Because you ARE following the heart of Jesus. No better place to be, no matter how scary and unsure it is. I personally think God has placed you where you are for another reason. That is to relay honest reports of real life ministry and what it can look like. Not being in the inner city doesn't give us a pass to living more like a Christ follower right where we are. We just have to accept the challenge to love radically who is before us. You have challenged me and I thank you for that. And I have one more question, in your quest for a career, did you ever consider journalism? God has given you a gift, Teddy boy. Use it wisely and responsibly for His glory.
much love from Kyle's mom!
Ted,
It appears that you have place in service that is unique among those interested in Christian ministry. Maybe this generated the "real ministry" comment. As you share stories of "real" people via this virtual medium, you may have a way to connect many to your heart-felt and head-aware commitments. Real ministry could have been you, Ted Gerring, still in the big finance world of CA, living frugally though making big bucks, then sending funds to ministries of your heart. Real ministry, or in more palatable terms, street ministry, is something that few are called to. I did it for nearly a decade. Although I believe that many lives were touched, as I matured I realized that I could help many more, and more permanently, with my skill sets through other avenues. However, that didn't negate the need to support and pray for those still tending to immediate needs of those who are living with unfortunate challenges. I think you're aware that I came from poverty. I firmly believe that without Christ and/or education, I'd still be in the cycle of poverty. Thanks for what you're doing--whether it's hands on or from a distance. Dr. P. (JP)
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