Dying Behind Walls

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately; thinking about Christmas, it’s meaning, our meaning, Christ’s meaning, and Haley’s meaning. As I held Haley this past Saturday, I couldn’t comprehend the beautiful reality of life. It all seemed surreal (possibly because a barely slept). As I continued to gaze upon this new life, I found my heart growing heavier and heavier, questioning who I am, who we are, as people, as Americans, and as humans.

Over the past 6 months my eyes have been opened to the social injustices throughout the world. When I hear unimaginable numbers of babies dying, children dying, just any human dying, I am mortified by the state in which our world sits back and observes. What can I do? I don’t know, but I want to do something, I must do something.

Being in the city, I’m slowly changing. I’ve gone through many cultural changes this year and I’m finally starting to settle. I don’t mean settle as in becoming comfortable, yet more so feel at home in my environment. It’s hard to be comfortable in this environment. I’ve surrounded myself with pretty radical individuals who are determined to live this life in discomfort. It’s pretty uncomfortable when we open our eyes.

I don’t think we notice how blind we are. I don’t think we notice our walls.

I’ve realized something in America, something very sad about our country. The idea of America is beautiful. The ability to freely worship, the ability to be accepted because you matter as a person, that’s truly our purposeful existence. That’s the America I love. However, I don't love how we obtained it. We'll just continue to look past that one?

The America I struggle with is the arrogant America, the America that fights for “justice” in Iraq, but passes by Rwanda and Darfur. I struggle with the America that has the resources to stop poverty but choose not to do so. The America that could’ve provided clean drinking water to our world with the amount consumers spent on Black Friday of this year.

It’s as if we’ve made it socially acceptable to pass by many of the world’s problems.

I’ll be the first to admit, its hard not getting caught up in what “we’re “doing and where “we’re” going. This is, again, why I think it’s so important to have people around us that make our lives uncomfortable. People who challenge us to our very core, people who ask the tough questions, and people who upset us.

My biggest question for us all is, “Are we willing to get into the dirt of peoples lives?” Are we willing to leave our false reality of life, open our eyes to what’s around us, open our eyes to our neighbors, communities, cities, states, country, other countries, an ultimately our world.

Leo Tolstoy says, “"Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself."

We need to face our walls. We’re dying behind them. Others are dying because of them.

Am I making sense?

God is more present in the ghetto than in many of our homes. We don’t need God (well…). We’ve got what we need. We tend to only need God when something bad happens, but really, are we dependant on him for our next meal? Are we dependant on him for our health? Truthfully, I rarely give thanks before I eat. I guess if I did I would feel hypocritical. I usually feel entitled to what I eat, like I deserve it or something.

Look, I feel helpless. I am helpless. But, I can do something, I can change myself. I can commit to diving into the dirt of others lives. I can pray to God that my influence would reach what he would have me reach.

I beg you, open your eyes.

Your responsible, I’m responsible. If we don’t act, we’re at fault. It’s your fault and it’s my fault.

What does that mean for you?…I don’t know. I know what it means for me though.

DO SOMETHING.

I can’t, we can’t, change the world over night, but try and look at life differently today. Opportunity is all around you. It doesn’t matter where you live, it matters why you live. We’re all going to die, die serving not sitting.

As I held Haley, I couldn’t get other children around the world out of my head. Over the past few days it’s only grown stronger. My heart is heavy tonight for those kids in Austin, for those kids I see in the news or I read about from the (Red) campaign.

Why is her life more important than those I read, those I watch die on television? Obviously, I have a much closer connection to Haley, she’s family, she matters to God, but so do they.

I will not sit back. Please don’t sit back. Do Something.

You won’t believe how big a small act is. This may be because you’ve never done anything. What’s past is past. Carpe Diem, seize the day, you’ve heard, I’ve heard, let’s live it.